


Forbidden Bonds

by DoppyRex



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And maybe sometimes for the better, Canon Divergence - Order 66, F/M, Fix-It, Giving credit when i Can Because yes i am stealing Ideas Because Yes i Read too Much, Obtine, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, People Talk, The Jedi Order needs a makeover, Therapy, What the fuck is this i needed to start but im not actually sure where we will end up, You know when you actually bother to talk to people feelings get sorted out a lot quicker, alternative universe, lots of hugs, rexsoka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23908900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoppyRex/pseuds/DoppyRex
Summary: Ahsoka gets really confused about her feelings and instead of doing nothing spends hours researching in the library. She gets noticed by the Dark Women who sets into motion a chain of events that will change almost everything and end up doing a lot of good because you know sometimes the Jedi Council needs to see things to believe them. Who knew that therapy and talking about things could fix almost anything?Everyone Lives Hopefully Maybe Not Palpatine Because Yeah.A long time Later maybe it will end happily maybe not but, this is a combination of my Favourite ships that can coexist and my favourite ideas from all of the fanfiction trying to be worked together into a decent semi-okay story, or multiple stories. I got really bored. But also YES.
Relationships: CC-1004 | Gree/Luminara Unduli, CC-2224 | Cody/Barriss Offee, CC-5052 | Bly/Aayla Secura, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555/Rabé, CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano, Cal Kestis/Trilla Suduri | Second Sister, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Riyo Chuchi/CC-1010 | Fox
Comments: 22
Kudos: 105





	1. Advice

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters owned by LucasArts. First Chapter Written by Zedaar, on Fanfiction.net that I then edited upon. I will Credit Anything else I steal as I go along, But god I recommend that you read those first because there are very good stories out there.

Ahsoka spent her nights scouring the library, staying up far later than she was accustomed, trying to make sense of the war her mind was having between what she knew, and what she felt. Between her heart and her head. So far she'd managed to hide her activities from the Master Archivist, as well as prevent her fatigue from affecting her other studies and training. But finally, lost in yet another data file in a hidden corner of the archive, Ahsoka succumbed to sleep.

A hand on her shoulder roused her from her impromptu nap. For a moment she couldn't remember where she was or recognise who had woken her. Then her mind snapped into focus: she'd just been caught doing unauthorised research by none other than the Dark Woman herself! The Master Jedi was one of the most mysterious members of the Order, yet at the same time, one of the most respected by the council. She had dedicated her life to the Force, going so far as to abandon her name and become known only by the moniker that could still the mischief of any youngling. Every youngling had heard the phrase 'Behave, or the Dark Woman will be your next master!' at least once in their time at the temple. Ahsoka had heard that she'd been in exile before the Clone Wars, and even now refused to lead a clone battalion like the other masters restricting herself to the temple or diplomatic missions. There had even been a rumour linking her to Aurra Sing.

"Why are you here child?" she asked, quietly. Ahsoka began to stammer out an excuse about losing track of time in her studies, but the Dark Woman was having none of it. "Don't try to dissemble with me, young one. I've watched you here for the last three nights. You are searching for an answer, to something you feel conflicted about, and your failure to find that answer is causing you much distress."

Ahsoka surrendered to the Master's insight. Her defences, already weakened by fatigue and worry, gave way with little hesitation. "Master, I think... I think I'm forming an attachment. I know that's forbidden by the Code, but how can I just shut off these feelings? I've tried to ignore them, to let them go... I've meditated for hours, seeking the serenity the Masters talk about, trying to calm this... this passion within me, but nothing works!" Ahsoka shook her head in shame and dismay, "I've spent every night since I got back to Coruscant here in the archive, trying to find something, anything, that will tell me how a Jedi is supposed to... to... " She couldn't continue, instead looking away, tears running down her cheeks. 

The Dark Woman looked at the crying padawan for some time, before seeming to come to a decision and laying her hand on Ahsoka’s shoulders leaned in and asked "Do you love this man, young one? Not just admire him, or lust after him, but truly love him?"

Ahsoka nodded, "If that's all it was, I don't think this would be so hard. I do admire him, and he's certainly attractive. But it's so much more than that, it's... everything."

"If he were to die tomorrow, how would you feel?"

The Padawan sniffed, "Ho..Horrible."

"If he was murdered in front of you, would you be angry? Would you want revenge?"

"I...I don't know. I'd be angry, certainly." Ahsoka frowned, concentrating, then slumped, admitting the truth to herself as much as she was admitting it to The Dark Woman, "Yes. Yes, I'd want revenge. I know it's wrong. I know it's the behaviour of someone on the Dark Side, but if Rex was murdered in front of me, whoever did it wouldn't see the sunrise, if I had any say in the matter." Ahsoka didn't realise she'd named the man in question.

The Dark Woman cocked her head and posed a more difficult question, "And what if he wasn't murdered? What if he was ordered to his death, ordered to command a suicide mission and didn't return? Would you seek revenge on the men who gave the order? Would you turn your anger against your own Master? Against the Jedi Council?" The Dark Woman had a reputation for being harsh with her pupils: harsh in training, harsh in treatment, harsh in judgement. She believed that it was only under pressure could the true character be shown.

Surprisingly, the Padawan already had an answer for her, a calm smile gracing her features, "No. I've known since I met him that he could die that way. That he'll likely die that way. It's... what he was born and bred to do." Ahsoka's smile quirked a little as she remembered their discussions on the subject. "We've faced death so many times, both together and apart, that I've accepted it, in my head at least. Although I'm glad that I never had to face General Krell, considering what that traitor tried to do on Umbara. I think in that situation, if someone ordered Rex to his death for pure spite, then I'd seek revenge." Her smile twisted into a face of distaste at the thought of her attachment being led to a spiteful death.

Ahsoka looked up to see an odd look on the Dark Woman's face, almost as if she was satisfied with Ahsoka’s answer on the subject. Then her face was cold again, asking another question, "And what of this man of yours? This great love? Does he return your affection?"

The young Togrutan's whole being seemed to light up with what she was feeling. Closing her eyes and remembering, Ahsoka said, "Oh, yes, Master, he does. He has never said anything or done anything, that would give the slightest hint. He's the most honourable man I know... But there are times... Times when I'm open to the Force, open to everything around me and he'll just look at me and I can feel...it's wonderful, Master!" Ahsoka opened her eyes, and then blushed, realising what she'd just confessed and who she'd confessed it to.

The Dark Woman held her gaze for a long moment, her expression giving nothing away. "Come with me, child," she instructed. Ahsoka rushed to shut down the data terminal and followed in the strange Master's wake.

The two Jedi made their way into the depths of the Temple. There, seemingly among corridors that had long been abandoned, the Dark Woman kept her chambers, isolated from the rest of the Order. "Have you heard of Nomi Sunrider, young one?" the Dark Woman asked after she'd instructed Ahsoka to sit in a nearby lounge. The Master Jedi herself was withdrawing something from an old wooden cabinet.

"Of course, Master. She was instrumental in the Great Sith War. She led the Jedi to victory over Exar Kun and Ulic Qel-Droma."

The Dark Woman took her own seat on a high backed chair, a low table between them. She reverently held in her lap an elegantly carved box made of dark woods, gleaming from the carefully oiled surface. "She did indeed, although at great cost to herself. One of the greatest figures in Jedi history, yet I wonder if we have lost the true lesson of her life. She had two great loves in her life." She looked at Ahsoka meaningfully, "She lost them both. Since then, love has become a dangerous thing for a Jedi, but we do not truly understand why. I think if you truly want to know what love should mean to a Jedi, she should be the one to teach you."

"Master?"

"At the end of her life, Jedi Sunrider recorded a personal Holocron of all her experiences, to help others learn what she had." The Dark Woman placed the box on the table and pushed it toward Ahsoka, "That Holocron is now in your care, young one."

Ahsoka gasped, "I couldn't possibly. It's too valuable, it... the Master Archivist should... where did you find it?"

The Dark Woman smiled wryly, "Master Jocasta doesn't know it exists. I found it on a personal pilgrimage to Exis station. I think I was the first person to set foot there in centuries. The Republic uses the station now as a staging area. The little time I've been able to spend studying it has led me to a single conclusion: that I was both meant to find it, and I was meant to pass it on to you." Ahsoka again tried to deny her worthiness. "Is it your habit to defy your masters, Padawan?"

Ahsoka tried not to laugh, but a small chuckle escaped anyway, "Only when it's expected, Master. I am Padawan to Anakin Skywalker, after all."

The Dark Woman simply raised an eyebrow and responded, "The less said about that one, the better. Nevertheless, you will take the Holocron, and you will learn all you can from it, understood?" Ahsoka nodded. "After that, if you wish to pass on your discovery to the Jedi Archives, then so be it. Now take it and return to your quarters. It's late and we both need some sleep."

Ahsoka reached for the box, hesitated for just a moment, then picked it up and held it with as much reverence as her host had done. She stood and bowed to the woman before her, "Thank you, Master. I... Thank you."

* * *

Two days later, the Dark Woman encountered a single Clone Trooper marching through the Temple corridors, his single shoulder pauldron, kama and blue paintwork marking him as distinctive. He held his helmet under one arm. "What's your business here?" she asked him.

He saluted in return, "Captain Rex, Ma'am. General Skywalker has asked me to locate Commander Tano for him. She's switched off her commlink again."

"Then it’s likely that she's in the Archive, studying. The Master Archivist has a preference for silence."

"Thank you, Ma'am. I'll keep that in mind." Assuming her instruction was a dismissal, Rex saluted and began to walk away.

"Captain?" she called to him as he passed.

"Yes, Ma'am?" Rex spun to face her again.

"Take good care of her, Captain. I expect she'll become a great Jedi someday."

Rex smiled proudly, "I will, Ma'am. And she already is." Then he nodded, about-faced again, and continued on his way. The Dark Woman watched him for another moment, then left, content with what she'd set in motion.


	2. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka Spends time with the Holocron, Barriss reflects on Ahsoka.
> 
> **Edited Barriss's reflections**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again all Characters belong to Lucasfilm/Disney. (Will Come Back and edit Barriss's POV at some point to make it fit more inline)

In the remaining weeks of leave, most of Ahsoka’s free time was spent conversing with the Holocron on a number of different topics. Unlike Modern Holocrons, the ancient Holocron stored not only knowledge, but it stored a part of the Master who had created the Holocron as well. At the very least the Kyber crystal within the Holocron had the personality of the Master who'd created it. 

Master Sunrider was very helpful in talking about the “problem”, having apparently dealt with lots of people in the same situation as the Padawan. Master Sunrider was also very helpful in fixing Ahsoka’s worries about breaking the Jedi Code by showing Ahsoka a different variation of the code.

Ahsoka’s dreams always seemed to centre around two conversations that she had had with Master Sunrider, they both were about the code and how it had changed the first memory was the most prominent...

"What is the Jedi Code?" the ancient Jedi had asked.

Ahsoka had recited: “There is no emotion, there is peace.  
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.  
There is no passion, there is serenity.  
There is no chaos, there is harmony.  
There is no death, there is the Force.”

The Sunrider Holoimage had smiled sadly. "I'm amazed that form survived all this time. It was one of the few things Master Odan-Urr and I disagreed about. Would you like to hear the original form?"

"Please," Ahsoka had asked.

"Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force"

Ahsoka had wondered about the variation, "They are the same... yet so very different."

"Very good, child, not many would notice the similarities. Tell me, Ahsoka, what is that very important difference?"

Ahsoka thought hard. Philosophy had never been her strong suit. Nor poetry for that matter. "The first... the one I know, that I've always been taught... It's strong, but... rigid. Control."

"And the other, older form?"

"That one is more... fluid. It flows...flows like..." Ahsoka's eyes had opened with a snap, "Flows like the Force!"

"Exactly. There can be no peace if you do not understand your emotions. Knowledge is useless if you are ignorant of how to use it. Serenity cannot exist without passion beneath it. Life is chaotic, and yet without it, there would be no harmony. And if you do not die, you cannot join with the Force."

Ahsoka had been amazed, "I've always had trouble following the code before. It never seemed quite right. Now I know why." She smiled in acceptance of what she had just been told. "Or at least I'm learning why."

"That's good," Sunrider told her, "You've just taken your first step into a larger world."

Another Conversation followed:

"Remember what I told you of Ulic Qel-Droma's fall to the Darkside?"

Ahsoka nodded, "He tried to infiltrate the Krath from within, but was tortured and poisoned until he accepted the dark path. Then they used his fear and lust for power to keep him there."

"And how did the Jedi capture him?"

"After he killed his brother, you cut him off from the force."

"Would it surprise you then, to learn that when he died, he joined the Jedi Masters? His body disappeared as I watched."

"What? How?"

"Love. It was his love for my daughter, his pupil; his love for me - even as he died I could feel his love for me was as strong as it had ever been. Even his compassion for another Jedi who sought revenge for the death of her mate earned him his redemption. So you see, child, while love can lead you to the dark side, it is also the only thing that can bring you back again. It is up to you to discover if your love is a danger or your salvation."

Ahsoka had pondered that the second conversation for a long time, never really being sure of the meanings behind it and how she was meant to decide between whether it would be dangerous or would be her salvation from worse happenings. Mostly Ahsoka decided that she would wait until a critical moment before acting on her feelings if only to not make things dreadfully awkward and bad in terms of communication skills, between Captain and Commander.

Ahsoka didn’t only spend her time with the Holocron on her “problem” a range of other topics also came up. Battle Meditation becoming something of a favourite for her to learn, much to Master Sunriders Delight and she hoped to learn enough about the ability to be able to employ it, even if only in small doses, before reaching the frontlines again but by the time the deployment order came through she wasn’t nearly familiar enough with the technique yet and was worried she would lose her concentration or not be able to maintain the connection and keep moving. So she was avoiding all practical use of it until she could confidently reach a sizable majority of the troops and maintain control of her own movements. Though considering the only way she had been able to practice without anyone else was with Tooka’s she was hoping it would be a while before she had to try and employ it as the difference between the things that a Tooka could project into the force and a Sentient would probably overwhelm her.

* * *

At First Barriss had been fine with Ahsoka taking some time to herself and not being around when she first arrived back at the temple because of what she had heard happened on Umbara, she only started to get concerned when about 3 days after she first came back when Barriss went to knock on her door Ahsoka wasn’t in and she only found out where she was a day later when she finally managed to catch up with her in the halls. That was bad enough the fact that Ahsoka had disappeared for that long. The next warning arrived when she found out that Ahsoka had been meditating not because she was forced to but because she wanted too. Ahsoka never took voluntary meditation hell Barriss was pretty sure the Kenobi lineage avoided Meditation almost as much as they avoided getting treatment for injuries, so to have one of them not only doing meditation but doing it voluntarily was reason enough for someone to panic. 

About two weeks into the behaviour Barriss still had not been able to pin Ahsoka down to ask her what was going on because she was never where Barriss expected her to be and apparently only returns to her room late at night to sleep and then left early in the morning to go back to whatever daily routine she was embedded in. The closest she ever got to managing to trap Ahsoka into talking was when she was taking a stroll through the Archives and found her fast asleep clutching a book to her chest in an almost iron tight grip. Despite Barriss best efforts however she couldn't wake Ahsoka from her slumber and decided to leave her to it whilst she completed some Coursework nearby where she could keep an eye on her. Barriss had just finished the final part of her research into Force healing and got up to replace her books casting one glance at Ahsoka before slipping away. When she returned she found an empty table and no chair from where Ahsoka had been.

However, whatever had happened that day seemed to have a dramatic change again in Ahsoka's behaviour and Barriss still couldn't tell if it was for better or worse considering that she had been locking herself in her room for long periods of time and that Barriss had been visited by both Master Skywalker and Master Kenobi to see if she knew if anything was wrong with Ahsoka. 

Barriss was thankful when Ahsoka four weeks after Umbara got back into her usual self and started to spend more time in her usual regime with less and less time spent in her room or in private meditation chambers. Whatever had happened in that time had seemed to have an overall more positive effect on Ahsoka because she had been much more relaxed in her posture on things and seemed to be more balanced with herself even expressing an interest into spending more time in the archives with Barriss to do research if she wished and reassuring her Master to no end that she was fine. To say that she was happier in a way when she was learned of an upcoming deployment would be an understatement Barriss put it down to the fact that she hadn't seen any of Her men apart from Rex because her Master had stopped her from leaving the temple until he was certain she was okay and not in a state of semi depression.


	3. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone reflects not only on Ahsoka but also on their own problems.
> 
> Obi-Wan's stuff needs some updates, I have to add Rex and his views and His very insistent method that he will not in any way arrange a relationship with his commander because that would be unprofessional.  
> And I wonder why Anakin needs to talk to Master Plo, about something concerning Ahsoka. But It's not really like Anakin to make rash plans is it? (This is going to go horribly when I try to do this)

Anakin was worried Ahsoka had finally gotten back to her normal self again but she still wasn’t talking to him, Obi-Wan or Barriss about what had been wrong. She had just been getting back to her normal self and was finding things to do in the day but still wasn’t complaining to him about being confined to the temple, which was slightly concerning for how active of a lifestyle she constantly lived. What was worse is how bad Anakin felt for keeping her from seeing the men apart from those occasional times when he had to have Rex find out where she had hidden away, for the day. Padme seemed to not know either and that was surprising because she almost always seemed to know what was happening (Anakin still stubbornly refused to believe that he didn’t notice things happening when His wife was around or On  Coruscant because of her.) 

The most surprising part about it all was when he told her they were going to have to take a campaign to Hoth as General Grievous was apparently in charge of setting up a base there, the information having come through some of the Chancellor’s spy Networks. He and Ahsoka were being deployed there before moving back onto the Outer Rim sieges, and to reinforce Master Plo. Speaking of Master Plo, Anakin actually had reason to visit him to ask about Ahsoka’s Family and see if she had any and if so if he could find them because Padme had decided that He had been putting off asking for long enough and was finally getting him to sort out all the excuses he had been using for why he couldn’t ask Ahsoka. Because Anakin was convinced that if he told Ahsoka about his marriage to Padme she wouldn’t tell the council. 

Padme was privately convinced Ahsoka already knew as Anakin was not the most subtle of people.

Anakin hoped that maybe if his plan went well and nothing bad like Umbara happened when out on deployment Ahsoka would get back to her normal self and be able to tell him or at least Obi-Wan about what had been bothering her, so that they could help her through it.

* * *

Obi-Wan was currently too busy with his own dilemmas to really notice the weird behaviour Ahsoka was making, he had yet again been reminded of Satine and how he could not act on his feelings for his position as a Jedi yet was struggling to let go of attachment more this time than before and it did not help that the force was shouting warnings at him about letting Satine go and the dangers behind the action. By god Obi-Wan nearly thought he was going to have to go to Anakin to ask about how to lead a double life and advice on how to manage secret relationships, for all that Obi-Wan loved him Anakin could surely be not subtle at times, and Obi-Wan considered it one of his greatest failings with his Padawan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Still needs editing but I wanted to post so)


End file.
